After what felt like a decade of frozen tee pads, disappearing fairways, and wind chills that made putting physically painful, the local disc golf doubles leagues are finally thawing out.
And so are some of the players who were last seen in a snowdrift mid-Team Challenge season.
With temperatures finally creeping above “why do we do this to ourselves” levels, the disc golf community is slowly, hesitantly, and with deeply suspicious squinting, emerging from winter’s icy grip.
The first signs of spring are here. The snow is melting, the sun is out longer, and the sounds of disc golf are returning: The distant rattle of chains. The sigh of a putt spit-out. The unmistakable noise of a disc golfer realizing they are knee-deep in what used to be a fairway and is now a soupy mud bog.
Spring doubles is back, baby. And it’s already getting weird.
The Great Unfreezing Has Begun
For the first time in months, disc golfers are arriving at the course without having to dress like they’re heading into an Arctic expedition. Gloves are coming off, putters are warming up, and players are remembering what it’s like to actually have full range of motion.
Not all of them are adjusting well.
“My first full-power throw in 45-degree weather almost tore my shoulder clean off,” admitted Greg “Frozen Flex” Daniels, a player who spent most of the winter insisting he didn’t need gloves but now has visible frost damage on at least three fingers.
Meanwhile, the fairways—once peacefully covered in a nice, flat sheet of snow—are now treacherous wastelands of standing water, unstable mud, and mysterious quicksand-like patches that have already claimed at least two shoes.
“I took a step off the fairway and just… sank,” said one shaken player. “It was like the Earth itself decided I wasn’t allowed to play.”
The tee pads? A complete gamble. Some are dry. Some are soaked beyond recognition. Some have become miniature lakes. And some, somehow, are still icy.
The Crock Pot Incident Still Haunts the Survivors
As players return to the courses, so too return the memories of winter’s darkest moments.
No event left a scar quite like the J-Park Pavilion Crock Pot Incident, in which an overloaded electrical circuit, 17 slow cookers, and one particularly volatile seafood stew combined to cause a near-catastrophic chili detonation.
“I still wake up in a cold sweat, smelling pulled pork,” admitted one witness. “You think you’re safe. You think your crock pot is stable. And then—boom.”
Despite the devastation, some players have already begun planning their revenge. There are rumors that this year’s spring league might see the return of the Crock Pot Potluck, but only if someone can secure a generator strong enough to handle the electrical demands.
Until then, disc golfers remain deeply wary of any tournament where slow cookers are involved.
Doubles Leagues Are Coming, Whether You’re Ready or Not
With winter (mostly) in the rearview mirror, doubles leagues are on the horizon.
The annual migration of fair-weather players is about to begin. Some haven’t thrown a single disc since October, and yet they will show up in April expecting to shoot double digits under par.
The random dubs chaos is inevitable. Someone will get paired with a guy who only throws thumbers and refuses to putt conventionally. The first Cali player meltdown of the season is looming, waiting for its unfortunate victim. And, of course, the great debate of who is sandbagging the hardest will begin anew.
“I just love getting back into it after winter,” said Kevin, stretching casually after draining a 50-footer in his first throw of the season. “Winter golf just isn’t for me.”
The winter warriors—the ones who battled through Team Challenge blizzards, shoveled tee pads in a futile effort, and played full rounds while icicles formed on their hats—are not amused.
“Oh, must be nice,” one grumbled. “Must be real nice.”
Leave a Reply